As I sit here writing, I realize that the temperature today, this Tuesday in November is supposed to slam down into the teens with a chill factor below 10 degrees. I remember what it was like to be homeless in weather like this and my heart goes out to my brothers and sisters on the…
Relapse Ruminations and a Trip in the Way-back Machine
While taking a short ride in my car yesterday I listened to an acapella group called Jersey Dream put out by Clifton Records. The lead singer is a friend of mine named Ron Trautz, and as I was enjoying his voice I thought about how much he has accomplished since we ran wild together back…
Running on Empty Part 2: Doctor Shopping and Crowbar Dodging
The pharmacist had grey hair and his glasses rested down on a bump in the middle of his nose. The woman working the counter came over and I handed her the scripts. She asked me for my address and wrote it on the scripts. I hated when they did that if they didn’t cash them…
Running On Empty In Vermont: Part One
I kept drinking the wine so the withdrawal from the Klonopin wouldn’t hit me. I didn’t want to have a seizure out here in the boondocks. My wife, Debbie, has already gone into detox at a place called Scatterberry Farm. St. Dismas House said they had a room for me, but it would not be…
Can’t go home-but why would I?
But why would I want to return to what was never a home in the first place? Today I have a home. I live with a family, my wife Mary Esther and her mother, and they love and nurture me in ways I can depend on. My birth parents brought me into the world, took…
Addiction: The Illness That Talks
After more than three decades of heroin addiction, I was on my way to detox again. I had been to at least 40 detoxes, some of which I completed and some of which I bolted out the door before they wanted me to, or as they call it “A.M.A.” (Against Medical Advice). Addiction is like…
Rats In The Meadow: The Wilding
Alan and Phil caught the attention of the shop-keeper while Andrew and I stuffed our pockets full of candy bars. We wanted to be well-stocked for the trip into the Jersey meadows. Alan paid for the sodas and we walked out of the store. We had nine candy bars in all. It was a good…
The Disappearance of Heroin
Well, heroin isn’t exactly gone however, it’s not exactly true “junk” either. This Fentanyl thing has crept into the scene and seems to have overpowered life on the ‘nod’ side. As an old time junkie, who hasn’t used for over a decade, ,the kill rate of this new not-junk thing, is kind of terrifying. I…
Book Review: ‘Prey For Us’
I was introduced to Geoffrey Neil’s wonderful writing because his first book, Dire Means, was about homelessness in Santa Monica, California where some extremely devious people tried to end homelessness through evil means. In that book, I met a woman named Morana Mahker, who was very skilled at both eliminating people and tracking their movements…
Fiction: A Fly In The Ointment
He sat in the center and waited. A fly buzzed into the center and dropped to the floor. It lay still. Something in the air shifted. There was the smell of burning. Paul, sitting quietly in the center of circle and pentagram, turned in the direction of the movement in the corner of his eyes.…