Planet Killers: An Alien’s Viewpoint On Oil Addiction

In the ocean the dead zones continue to grow as if they were alive. And they are. I arrived from my Waterworld and splashed down in the Gulf of Mexico and had trouble right away because of the dead zone near what you land people call the mouth of the Mississippi.

In my world, whose name you wouldn’t be able to pronounce, we live in the water and gill our oxygen. In your world, which you call Earth, some spots in your oceans have, at times, an almost complete lack of oxygen. Those spots are called hypoxic zones.

Hypoxic areas have always existed but only in the deepest parts of your oceans. Now they are spreading, eating up miles of ocean. In the Pacific-Northwest, the complete lack of oxygen has left Dungeness crab carcasses all over the ocean floor. It has wiped out 25 year-old sea stars and left colonies of sea anemones unable to expand. Rugs of poisonous bacteria live it up in these conditions while other species die.

But then I saw it. It looked like a deepwater well in my world but instead of water, it was gushing what you call oil. In our world, we call oil Dark Death. Any animal it washes over dies.

In your world you punish people who are addicted to heroin. Consequences. That’s what you call occurrences that are harmful to the addict’s life. Sometimes heroin’s consequences are monetary. At other times you lock people away who use it. Families break up. There are those individuals who die young because of overdoses and other diseases related to heroin use.

To put things into perspective, you, as a thinking human species, need to look at your addiction to Dark Death, which you call oil. In a part of your world where dead zones already exist, the Gulf of Mexico, you now have a hole in the ocean floor where Dark Death is pouring out. There are currents in your oceans, just as there are currents in the oceans of our world. As water creatures, we respect those currents.

There was a species of animal developing on the land areas of our world that started to use oil for machines they were building. All the water people came together to consult and we decided to put the land creatures to death if they did not cease using Dark Death. Oil.

They declined. You know how addiction is. It is truly fortunate for our species that our minds are so highly developed that we created waves of psychic energy that were toxic to the land creatures. We only targeted the creatures that were dealing in Dark Death.

The Earth God we recognize is Poseidon and we thank him for giving us the knowledge as to the proper course to take. Your well is gushing and it is entering a current you call The Loop, which will take it to places you humans enjoy and darken them for many decades.

You have a place called The Keys near a land mass called Florida, which will never be the same if The Loop picks up enough Dark Death.

In the meantime, the company called British Petroleum has no real plan to stop the gusher. In our world the consequence for the individuals responsible for the release of Dark Death was the death penalty. I don’t know if you, as a species, will go that far.

I know this. You are killing your world. If we decide to intervene—There will be blood.

You might ask why our intervention would be so harsh. It is because you let the damage go on in your world so you don’t have to use your bodies to be active. You are living on the layers of the dead that have been buried beneath the ground. That is why coal and oil are called fossil fuels. I won’t insult your intelligence by defining the word fossil.

Your world has so many sustainable options for energy. Sun power, wind power, hydroelectric power (which runs some risks—not good for a species called salmon—which you now raise in factory farms—unhealthy places). You must use your minds to change the way you look at the world.

In a place called Ecuador, a company you call Texaco spilled 19 billion gallons of poison wastewater and 17 million gallons of Dark Death in beautiful, lively forestland areas. It is a horror what you do.

“Drill, baby, drill,” is what one of your politicos from what is called the Tea Party said. Our species would like to put some Dark Death in her tea.

Your machines that burn oil have exhaust pipes. If you took every exhaust pipe from every machine in the world and fused it into one pipe, how big would that pipe be? Can you imagine it? Or is it beyond your imagination? This pipe is blowing poison air into what you breathe. And you complain about second hand smoke from something called cigarettes.

What a joke! But this joke is lethal and it is on you—unless you change your course of action. As I write this, it is what you call “Bicycle Week”. Bicycles are a wonderful, non-poisonous way to travel. Yet you choose the automobile where you sit, grow fat, and blow poison air into the world.

You amaze us. We’re going to avoid your world. Have you ever wondered why no alien species from another planet has contacted you? Because you are listed as dangerous, off-limits.

If you start to head into space without changing your ways, do you think we will let you come and kill our planets the way you are killing yours? Let me tell you, you Earth-Killers, head our way and—there will be blood.